Anti-Sag

Long before we started FCT, I was in a tile crew for a different company. One time we were on a new build for some homeowners that were, uh, very... difficult to work with. They were particularly odd, and would both come and just hang out on site all day every day. They would come and not do anything, as if they were just pretending to live there during the day, like playing house as a kid. The husband was a stern man who loved to watch youtube, specifically on loud in the kitchen or living room and would show everyone tutorial videos on how to do their jobs, and the wife was always changing her mind on design choices or offering us snacks and booze. They had a sunroom in the house that was the size of a four car garage. Literally. The room had two full size garage doors that opened out to glass railings so you could enjoy the view of a dense forest. After the plan changed quite a few times, we ended up tiling the floor in that sunroom. 

Their master shower was a 4’x6’ steam shower that actually turned out really cool and was a great design. One day the husband walked in while my coworker and I were tiling the ceiling. He started asking us questions about grout and thinset and talking about the tile job he did in their home long ago. I was still relatively new to tile at the time and didn’t want to give the wrong information, so I kept quiet and let my coworker explain.

“How does the tile not just fall down on your heads?” The husband asked.

“We do full spread with a stickier thin-set and just really make sure our coverage is perfect, if it feels weird at all we take it down.”

“What kind of thin-set is stickier?”

“Oh you see the thin-set we use has patented anti sag technology that can really help in these specific applications.”

“Anti sag? Man, you should give some of that to my wife!”

And then the shower went quiet as we immediately were faced with a dilemma. If we laughed at the crude joke, we would be indirectly laughing at his wife without knowing if she was around the corner listening to us. If we didn't laugh, then we would risk offending the husband for not laughing at the joke and making the situation awkward. My coworker, without skipping a beat, let out a small chuckle to acknowledge the joke and just bursted out “OH! Time for a cigarette!”. He then ran out of the bathroom, pulling the carton out of his pocket and lighting one out the door. There was no real win-win scenario, but it’s always reminded me to be cautious on jobsites with humor. I love comedy, and I definitely have a much darker sense of humor than others. I not only have to be careful with the jokes I make, but also cautious of the jokes others make around me. Yes, you may not have made the offensive joke, but who knows who's listening at all times. Don’t accidentally overly laugh at something that not everyone may be comfortable with. Remember, when you’re on the job your reputation is on the line at all times.

But when I’m off the job at home, or getting a drink with a buddy, you bet your ass I’m talking anti sag slang.